How is your bleph doing? Is it blinking your eye shut? What I mean to say is, is it blinking your eye shut too forcefully? No, what I mean to say is, is your bleph pushing the skin under your eyebrow down over your eyeball and moisturizing the eyeball so it doesn't dry out? No! What I am actually trying to say is, is your bleph a big, old, wrinkly, disgusting flap of skin that blinks your eyeball shut, or is a petite, beautiful, youthful, smooth flap of skin that blinks your eyeball shut? Sigh, what I am telling you is that your bleph is a problem, and please remove it, or at the very least, buy a product to address your Bleph Problem.
Did you know that between 7 and 9 your children's brains are creating pathways that will determine how they react to stress for the rest of their lives? Never mind how we know that your children are exactly 7 and 9. Anyway. Did you know this is the most important time to stay calm and never yell and teach them coping skills and remain supportive to their emotional and spiritual development? Never mind how we know this concern just crossed your mind and you spoke it aloud to your partner. Did you know the decisions you make right now can never be reversed and you are setting the lifelong pathway to their well-being? Are you staying calm enough? I said, ARE YOU STAYING CALM ENOUGH?! IF YOU ARE NOT CALM, BUY MY 12-STEP GUIDE SO YOU DO NOT RUIN THE NEURAL CONNECTIONS OF YOUR 7- TO 9-YEAR OLD CHILDREN!!!!
I'm not sure if you're aware, but your spouse is utilizing weaponized incompetence and exhibiting narcissistic control mechanisms and leveraging perceived paternal trauma to create an inconsistent power imbalance, a tale as old as time, and it's amazing that people have navigated relationships for thousands of years without attending my marriage workshop--->>>link in bio.
Please don't let me see loose skin on your abdomen or the lines around your tired eyes. If I saw your loose skin I might know you created humans with your body, living souls now walking the earth, and what could be more embarrassing than that?
If I saw that your eyes were tired I might know you stayed up late baking a cake for your daughter's birthday, and that you researched the braid from K-Pop Demon Hunters even though you are not very good at braiding, so you could do your utmost to make her feel like a star on her eighth birthday. Unfortunately, those tired eyes are showing me a woman who needs to immediately put in an order for a new retinol cream because my God, what a disheveled mess you've become.
If my shopping list of fix-its wasn't so long and I had more time, I might think for just a second about what it would look like if we leaned into the maternal love, the biggest love, a force so strong it could scoop up every baby on earth and feed every child and stop every man from declaring another war that would harm even one hair on their little heads.
It's a shame, though, that we are so busy, so busy, we must lean away from that love, to remove the evidence of it from our faces and our bodies, to keep working and adding to cart, as if maternal love wasn't the burning core inside of us.
But. What if. What if we kept it...and did not dull it? What if we wrapped our arms around ourselves, and each other, took just a short break from hating ourselves, and each other, and allowed maternal love to shoot out of our chests and shine a light on the corners and dark places they don't want us to see?
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